The anger keeps growing and growing. I am furious at myself for forgetting myself. I am frustrated for feeling mad. I feel ashamed for being out of control but at the same time anger works and gets results. I can say no and my frenzy helps me not to be talked back into a yes again. Blind fury feels addicting. It is loud, demanding and powerful but it exhausts me too. It gives me freedom and earns respect while disrespecting at the same time. I want to get rid of it. I try time out, meditation and Zoloft but it is stubborn and still there. Is there a way to domesticate the beast, live in harmony with wrath? I slam the doors, raise my voice, disagree and interrupt. I overreact because the only other way to be that I know is quiet. I rather be mad then invisible.